For Her

By Agnetha de Castro

as music wafted out from our closed door,

straining to get out and envelop our home

I pause in my kneading and listen to you

As you sang of heartbreaks and heartaches

imagining the havoc you have wreaked

my heart ached for your struggle

to let out the tears of so many yesterdays

and the regrets of our today

not being able to resist the pull of you,

I stopped kneading and washed my hands,

wiping it free of water and residue,

wishing I could do the same to your suffering soul

taking a deep breath to calm my thumping heart,

I opened our door.

I stopped.

You were not there.

I woke up, drenched in sweat and unshed tears

the bed was empty.

I remembered the sting of our painful words,

the bitterness of our fights,

the packing of your bags,

the day you left me

with no goodbyes

or the chance for me to say I’m sorry

even if all I ever wanted

was to be with you

now and forever.